SQ Thoughts on Baking Shows

All of the reasons Baking Shows make the best TV | SuzyQuilts.com #baking #bakingshow

OK, SQ readers. I feel like we’ve been together for a long time. You have stuck with me through my time of batting soul-searching, Scrappy’s sassy antics, and even the birth of dear, sweet Desi

I think it’s time to take our relationship to the next level, so periodically, I’m going to give you an inside peek at my diary. Will it be insightful? I mean, there’s potential there. Will it be shocking? Probably not. But it will be real, raw, and honest. I think our relationship is ready for that. 

Dear Diary,

I have a confession. I’ve never met a baking show I didn’t like. No. Scratch that. I’ve never met a baking show I didn’t binge-watch in a matter of days while forgetting about all of my responsibilities in the real world. If food had not been at the forefront of my mind, I might have even forgotten to feed myself…

Sometimes, right after the finale when everyone cries and they crown the winner with a bouquet of edible flowers and questionably edible confetti, I have this moment of panic. Like, what am I going to do without the wit, inspiration, and deliciously hard work of other people? Does this mean I have to actually get dressed and work hard myself?? Luckily, there seems to be approximately infinity baking shows on the internet. That's the good news.

But Diary, I have been cooking up some burning questions during my hours of loyal dedication to food-themed television. I will record them here and hopefully, someday, fill in the answers.

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Question #1. Do these people have… jobs? And families? Where do they shower? I have never seen any showers on set. Do they all just smell like cake all the time? Maybe that’s not so bad. But their jobs! AND FAMILIES! They’re obviously the cook of the household--they can’t just leave!

Question #2. What do they do with the leftovers? I’m watching these judges take, like, the smallest bites in the universe and then just pushing the other 11.75 cupcakes to the side. I don’t care if they’re “slightly overmixed” or “a hint too chocolatey” or “delicious but not mind-blowingly delicious”... can I eat those, please? Or can at least someone eat them? (Also, judges, why did you ask for a dozen if you were literally only going to eat half of a forkful?)

Question #3. What do these people eat? If they’re not taking their mostly-full platters of Bakewell tarts back to their shower-less rooms, what are they actually eating? Or are they just living off smells? It would be really ironic if they had to survive off of cafeteria food for the duration of filming.

Question #4. Why can’t we all be as nice as British people?

Question #5. Is the whole world amazing at baking? Seriously. There have been like ten different seasons of a million different shows, all with new contestants. That adds up to a medium-sized country of people who are AH-MAZING at baking. That’s so many people.

These are the things that keep me awake at night when I can’t watch baking shows because John and Desi like the room to be dark and quiet to sleep or whatever.

So to distract my mind from worrying about whether or not all of those cupcakes are stored in a giant storeroom of stale-but-still-beautiful baked goods, I come up with my own ideas for baking shows.

(Don’t steal these. They’re patented. Or copyrighted. Whichever one scares you the most.) 

My Ideas for Baking Shows:

Things that look like cupcakes but are actually something else. (We could call it Cupfake Wars… or The Ultimate Fake Off… still working on this.) This idea is great because we definitely don’t have enough shows about cupcakes, but I have a feeling we’re running low on judges who are willing to sit in a brightly lit room with suspenseful music and lots of cake puns and eat cupcakes over and over and over.

I mean, I would do it. But also, wouldn’t it be so funny to just see those judge’s faces? It looks like a cupcake… but it’s actually a BEAUTIFULLY CARVED CABBAGE!

The Great British Attitude Show. I don’t care what they bake. I just want more footage of people from Great Britain saying they’re “chuffed” and helping their competition decorate cakes because it’s the right thing to do.

Really Normal People Making Soup and Sometimes Cereal. I’m really excited about this one because I think I could win this show. But if I was a viewer instead of a contestant, I think it would make me feel better about my life.

Even if I get no takers on these amazing ideas, I’m still going to keep watching baking-themed television shows. I mean, I’m watching one right now as I type this. And I don’t think I’ll ever have to stop, thanks to the fact that every time I re-open Netflix, they recommend to me a dozen more shows about flour-based confectioneries I have never heard of.

My hope is that if I watch enough of them I will just magically be great at making food. Or food will magically appear before me. Either one is fine.

Phew. So glad I got that off my chest. Now I can concentrate on what really matters… IT’S BISCUIT WEEK IN THE TENT!

XOXO, Suzy


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42 thoughts on “SQ Thoughts on Baking Shows

  1. Xanthe says:

    You are an absolute nutter! But like, the kind that’s coated in crunchy caramel and topping a three tier vanilla sponge with buttercream icing. So, the good type of nutter. Obviously. 🤣🤣🤣

    I like your brain.

  2. Kirsty Cleverly says:

    I would win at the Toast with Lots of Toppings Show. I am very good at toast.
    Did you see the Netflix show The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell? It was out for Halloween last year and she bakes the most incredible (spooky) things (like a dollhouse size replica of her haunted mansion). I absolutely loved it but the whole time I watched I was thinking “nobody would ever make that” and “when does this woman sleep?”

  3. Gigi Voegeli says:

    And they are supposedly baking on three different days, but do you notice that every single person is wearing the same clothes every day?
    I adore those shows. {:)

  4. Stephanie says:

    Kids Baking Challenge on Food Network is the best, because instead of intense, tv-friendly hatred of their competition, the kids are all fun and helpful to one another. Duff and Valerie as hosts make for a pretty good time.

    • Tonya says:

      Love love love the British baking show and others. The British baking show is my absolute favorite. Love the accents, live the puns, and I love their British version of our words. I hope they never cancel that show and I hope they keep putting it on Netflix!!
      I’ve had many of the same thoughts as you. They are so stinking nice!! A precious group of people on that show. Goes to show, a program can be wildly successful without all the mean backstabbing. Enjoy your baking shows Suzy!

  5. Crystal says:

    Oh, Buddy…this is too darn funny!!! I love the baking shows too-especially the lil kids that are freaking genius…it blows.my.mind!!!

  6. Lorrie Elliott says:

    The showers 🤣🤣🤣😉. When I was little my mom would go to someone’s baby or wedding shower and I didn’t understand. I imagine they set up a row of temporary showers with shower curtains in between and they all took a shower. I mean, the gathering room at our very old (even then) church had a concrete floor and there was a drain in the middle… P.S. I was also APPALLED when I learned that babies weren’t born with diapers on!! P. P. S. The Great British Sewing Bee is also amazing though a bit tricky to find.

    • Mary says:

      I love that you posted this. This is the kind of stuff I’d write if i had a blog! And yes to the GBBS. It’s educational: they make things i’ve never heard of! I don’t know if they’re all nice in real life but I’ll take the fantasy!

  7. Diane says:

    I SOOOO want to try to make Bakewell Tarts! Is Frangipane the same as almond paste? Is Caster sugar the same as granulated sugar? I think the answer to both is no…

  8. Alicia says:

    Semi professional baker here. Everyone (literally everyone) in the bakery watches the baking shows. We steal their ideas. Nailed It is our group favorite though.

  9. Elle irby says:

    There is really nothing I like better than the GBBO! I was worried when Mary Berry and the hosts left, but I love the new crew, too, and I wish we had American baking shows where the people are as wonderful and helpful to each other. Also, if you ever have a chance to watch the Katering Show, you should! It used to be on YouTube, but now it is somewhere else. It is the funniest thing I have ever seen, and it will make you feel better about your cooking skills (no matter what level they are)! I’m so glad to know this about you…now I feel like we are even better virtual besties!

  10. Jaime says:

    Chuffed. Love it. BuzzFeed just released a fun qa with some of the previous Great British contestants. It answers your questions like, what happens to the food, and do they still work during filming? (Sorry. Don’t have the link handy. You’ll find it easily.)

    • Sheena says:

      Here it is! https://www.buzzfeed.com/watch/video/88846

      Suzy, they’re not on Netflix but through the first 6ish original seasons, they always did a “Class of ___” episode where they’d bring back the contestants from the previous year to talk about their experiences. It was always one of my favorite episodes!! But in one of them they talked about how as soon as filming stopped, the crew would descend like a locust plague and devour everything… Which is what they say in the BuzzFeed video too. But those “Class of” episodes were the best… You should try and find them if you can.

  11. Erin says:

    OMG, the first time my fiancée and I watched, ok binged, The Great British Baking Show, we had to stop several episodes in and go buy cake. The cravings were co strong!!

      • Gennie Davidson says:

        Question 6: soooo are you going to create a quilting spin off show or what?
        I imagine the quilting community would be just as kind to their fellow contestants as the British Bake Off contestants. Everyone rushing around sharing thread and lending thimbles, terrified of what the judges will think of all the puckers and visible thread ends.

        You have 2 hours to impress Suzy with your Modern Fans Pillows——
        hera mark, pin set, BASTE!
        🤓

  12. Amber Johnson says:

    I love your humor girl!

    Also, it’s not a baking show, but I do love Master Chef and Master Chef Jr. I need to try more baking shows though because I have a major sweet tooth and I do love me a British accent. But don’t we all…?

  13. Lynne says:

    Suzy, Great British Bake Off is my favorite! The music always makes me think that there is also a murder mystery going on at the same time. I think a combination Bake off/Murder Mystery is the show they need to make!

  14. Lisa says:

    So funny! I used to have a business baking wedding cakes and so wanted to be on one of these shows. Never tried, but my friends did give me the nickname “Sugar Boogers” due to all the powdered sugar constantly flying around in the air…which is almost as good as being famous. 😉

  15. Cait says:

    My favourite part of the GBBS is when they do what we all inevitably do and sit in front of their oven watching like they’re watching their newborn baby through the hospital glass. The US bake shows don’t show that part.
    I really enjoyed Zumbo’s just desserts on netflix.

  16. Jules says:

    Oh, I love you! I would like some cupcakes too! Real ones!! For my birthday (b/c NO ONE cares about mom’s birthday and my love language is gifts… and I’m getting good at buying my own!), I scheduled a paint party and our open date just happened to be ON my day! LOL!! I ordered 2 dozen chocolate cupcakes and 3 dozen frosted sugar cookies (hubby’s favorite) from a friend/local baker. And then 3 of the 6 of us were on some new MLM new diet plan!! So I sent bags of treats home to the 2 that weren’t on the diet and put the others in the freezer. You know, one frozen chocolate cupcake before bed is really a necessary part of life!

  17. Jean says:

    We don’t have a television, so I don’t know about these shows. At our home, I have to bake and judge! It’s alright! Someone has to eat the goodies, right? And in answer to your question: More! Definitely more of the inner thoughts of a 100% mom, quilter and comedienne! Ha!
    -Jean❤

  18. shoshana says:

    Suzy, have a great time mommying!!!! and don’t be down on yourself if there are days when the last person you want to see or speak to is your son!!!!!!!

  19. Karen Quigley says:

    I’m so happy you have made a decision that will work well for you. Self doubt about raising children can drive you crazy. Do what works for you. I will read any and every blog or instagram post you write. I do not care what the topic is, women can always relate to other women. Loved the bake off post.

  20. Laura Shaw says:

    I’m so lame that I cry when they help each other — which says an awful lot about the state of our country. Did you know that they (the British) have a sewing show like this??? Not available to us here in the states but come on Netflix! Bring it on!

  21. Michelle says:

    I love everything about this. I feel like we think alike…and it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone in the world! British accents and Baking and meant for each other♥️

  22. B says:

    Keep writing on anything that floats through your mind ! Congratulations on finding your way to the park. Motherhood is the best. You do not want to miss it.

  23. Carol Gardiner says:

    Suzy you are so funny. You are saying things that most of us are just thinking. How many times have you watched the scone or cake episode and then wanted to go out and buy some so you can taste them like they do on TV? My little nieces ages 8 and 6 watch Great British Baking Show and then actually make the items! They have so much fun.

  24. Jeanne C Risser says:

    Suzy, I have always loved to cook – from the day that I learned to make lemon meringue pie from scratch in middle school home ec (the “old” days)! I made one every weekend at home for months! And, I always had our son in the kitchen with me while preparing meals (we do not have an open concept home) – soon he was standing on a chair helping me. We even “invented” our own favorite cookie – mini chocolate chip peanut butter. He loved the implements involved, esp using a chopstick to level off the sugar, flour… Today, his wife is thrilled that he is fearless in the kitchen, ready to try anything. Have fun with your son at the park, and hope you can include him with you in the kitchen when he is a bit older.

  25. Lori says:

    I read an article once that said Pru of Great British Baking Show fame feeds leftover sweets to her pigs or farm animals of some kind! Kind of blew my mind.

  26. Lisa Stevens says:

    Suzy, I absolutely love your writing!!! I’m slightly obsessed with cooking/baking shows interspersed with some HGTV remodeling/decorating shows!!! Wow, that was a mouthful. Anyway, keep the material coming and enjoy that sweet baby!!

  27. Suzanne says:

    Ha, what a great and tasty post, Suzy! I must be just a little off, though, because I don’t enjoy those shows at all. I would even say that they make me nervous! My hub’s sisters love them and often talk about this episode or the other. I just sit off to the side thinking, “What am I not seeing here? I just don’t get it.” I used to watch Iron Chef religiously when that was on. Maybe I just don’t have as much of a sweet tooth as I thought I did. 😉

  28. Allison C Bayer says:

    You are funny and insightful! I have friend like you that is crazy for TBB!! Keep being your sweet, witty, momma to Desi self! You are more than just a quilting babe.

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